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Caught Clueless Chapter Twelve

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I was so young. I was so stupid.

It was the last day of summer, the air was sticky and warm, and the mosquitoes were biting at my arms. Erin and I wanted to do something to celebrate, so we had a party. A stupid party.

Erin's brother, Jason, and his friend, Cody, dug out some fireworks and sparklers from their garages. We were too young for alcohol, so we got the next best thing: Red Bull. Any one of our parents would have killed us if they knew what we were doing. We decided our party would have to be held somewhere out of the way. There was an old house that I knew of, with a huge lawn extending into a forest. No one lived there for as long as I had been alive. It was the perfect location, hidden behind a wall of trees and near the outskirts of the city, so I suggested it.

We rode our bikes. By the time we arrived, we had already downed half a can of Red Bull each, and it was just beginning to get dark outside.

After we lit off some firecrackers, I sat with Jason under the stars and tried to make the most of our final summer night. He finished off his first can and looked at me with his wild, green eyes. They were like emeralds, almost as bright as the sparklers.

"You know who lives here, don't you?" he asked.

"Nobody. If someone lived here, the mailbox wouldn't be broken in half. Plus it smells weird, sort of like gasoline or something. I think if someone lived here, they would probably fix that."

He shook his head. "Then explain to me why I always see that kid hanging around here. You know which one I'm talking about."

I nodded slowly but rolled my eyes. "I hang around here all the time, Jason. Does that mean I live here?"

He ignored me. "I bet you didn't know that he's basically illegal. He should be in that orphanage. That's why he dropped out of school. Didn't want to get caught, I guess." Jason brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and leaned back. "Do y'know what that jerk did?" He didn't wait for my response. "The teacher made him tutor me in math one year. Failed the class. Heck, I practically failed the grade! It was his fault. He didn't even try to help me out."

"Is that why you're always pushing him around?" I wanted to ask what the mysterious boy's name was, but I didn't think Jason would tell me. He avoided saying his name like it was a disease. I only knew him as "that kid" or "that stupid loser."

He laughed. "Yeah. Fun to watch him squirm, isn't it?"

I smiled. No, it wasn't particularly fun, but I wasn't about to let Jason know what I thought. Whenever he got that crazy glint in his eyes, I knew better than to contradict him.

Erin suddenly came running over to us. Her clothes were dripping with water and her hair was soaked through and through. Cody was right behind her. He had slipped into the creek, and when Erin tried to help him, he pulled her in.

Erin held up a sparkler. "Guys, let's do this one. It's so pretty!"

Jason took it from her. "It'll look better under the shadows. Come 'ere."

We moved into the shadow of the big house and stood back as Jason lit the sparkler. Little hot lights showered the ground and glittered like a crystal chandelier. We watched until the glow faded to nothing. Then we just sat down in the grass, under the tree, and looked up at the stars that were just beginning to flicker in the sky.

Erin tossed her long, raven hair over her shoulder and smiled that bright dazzling smile of hers. "This is great. The last day of summer. You know what would make this perfect? Fireflies."

Cody scoffed. "There aren't any fireflies in the city."

"You're such a kill-joy."

We all took another drink and stared at each other. It really was the last day of summer. None of us wanted to believe it. But now that the words were actually said aloud, we were reluctant to enjoy it, for fear it would end too quickly.

Erin sniffed. "Do you guys smell something? Like, burning?"

Jason rolled his eyes. "Erin, we just lit off a dozen fireworks. Duh."

"No, I smell it too," I said.

Cody's light brown eyes wandered across the landscape behind us. They suddenly widened, and he swore under his breath. He scrambled up and pointed across the lawn to the flickering slivers of orange. "Fire!"

"Yeah, sure." Erin laughed until she saw that he wasn't joking. She stood and grabbed my arm. "Oh gosh, let's get out of here."

I recoiled from her touch. "Are you crazy? We can't leave! We have to do something."

The flames were moving fast, writhing and devouring the dry grass like a living thing. I watched as they began to graze the side of the house.

Erin dropped her energy drink in the dirt and backed away. "Angela, don't be stupid. We could get in big trouble for this."

"Then put it out! Do something!" I shouted.

Cody was already heading off toward the bicycles with Erin right behind him.

"Wait!" I felt frantic. There had to be something I could do. Something that would stop the blaze from growing and ravaging. But it only continued to consume everything its hot, snaking tendrils could seize.

Erin and Cody were on their bikes, pedaling down the path, back to the road. To safety. To stay innocent.

Jason stood watching the flames, which were now crawling up the side of the house. Heat and smoke were stinging my eyes. I had to shield my face with my hand and back away. Jason turned and started jogging toward his bike. He was strangely calm. "Come on, Angela. Do you really want to get in trouble for this? No one lives here anyway, so it doesn't matter. Right?"

I was silent.

"Right?" he repeated. "Isn't that what you told me when you said we should light the fireworks off here?"

He smiled slightly, and I realized it was a threat. Keep silent about what happened or else.

"The gasoline…" I said slowly. "When did you do it?"

Jason let the grin take over his whole face. "Earlier today. Before we came here."

"You were planning on coming to this house all along then."

"Yeah," he said. "But I specifically remember the suggestion coming from you. As far as anyone is concerned, this whole thing was just an unfortunate accident."

I knew it wasn't just an unfortunate accident. If I told what happened - that he used our celebration as an excuse to set a house on fire for revenge - he would turn it around and say that it was my idea. I was the one who suggested the house, after all. My parents would be disappointed – beyond disappointed. They would be devastated that I had a part in something so stupid.

I nodded slowly. The fire was growling, an animal noise, soft but menacing. It was annihilating the siding on the house, eating it into nothing. I was scared. Scared of what would happen if I didn't call for help, and terrified of what would happen if I did.

There was a sound from the inside, beyond the wall of fire: a faint scream.

"Right," I said finally. My voice was not my own. "We were never here."

XxX

The next morning, we arrived at the hospital a little late. Everything looked different in the light. I discovered that the building was actually a radiant shade of white, not gray. There was an array of gold and crimson tulips planted near the entrance. I hadn't noticed them the night before. They were bright and almost welcoming. The events of yesterday seemed like they happened months ago, and I hardly remembered why I had been so upset.

There was one thing, however, that was nagging at my mind. Ever since the man attacked us, I kept having flashbacks to my childhood. It was because of that guy, or Chase and his freckles, or both. Or maybe my brain was connecting and remembering things that really had no connection or memory before. It was frustrating.

When Luke, Gill, and I walked through the revolving door of the hospital, which, thankfully, none of us got stuck in, I saw Chase standing near the front desk. Luke went ahead of us and clapped him on the back.

"Hey man!" Luke flashed a smile. "Feelin' okay?"

Chase pushed him away and gave him a look. "What do you think, Luke?"

"Dude, you look…" He closed his mouth then opened it again. "You look like… like… really… bad. Sort of like Bo when he was standing under that tree I was cutting down… only worse… or like, you got attacked by a-"

"Don't hurt yourself. Please." Chase glanced over at me and frowned. "Why isn't he on a leash?"

I laughed, but I didn't fail to notice that Luke was right. Chase didn't look like he should be standing there, much less walking around and functioning like a normal person. The entire right side of his face was darkly colored in various shades of blue and purple. His cheek was slightly swollen, and there were reddish circles under his eyes. He was leaning heavily against the counter.

"So I've got good news," I began. He didn't say anything, so I just continued. "I got a rental car and I'm going to drive us to my parents' house. This is going to be so much fun. A road trip! Have you guys ever taken a road trip before? We gotta buy some beef jerky and Doritos and Coca-Cola and Cheetos."

Gill narrowed his eyes at me. "Are we still speaking English?"

Chase nodded slowly and looked over at me. "Coke fan, eh? I prefer Pepsi. Figures."

I smiled wide, unable to contain my excitement. "Pepsi it is then."

"Doritos? Those sound cool. Let's get some." Luke matched my smile.

"Absolutely! I'm gonna show you guys what a real road trip is like. So who wants to ride shotgun?"

"I do!" Luke exclaimed.

Chase shook his head. He pushed away from the counter and crossed his arms. "I bet you ten bucks you don't even know what shotgun is."

Gill looked irritated. "Can we keep things in English here? I know I've been to the city and all, but I didn't have time to verse myself in city jargon and idiotic slang."

"Sorry." I smiled again. "Yes Luke, you can ride in the passenger seat. That means Chasey and Gill have to sit in the back, so you two better get along."

"Did you just call me Chasey?" Chase raised his eyebrow at me.

"Maybe." I started walking toward the door. "Come on."

XxX

An hour later, we were ready to take off, with junky snacks piled on the middle seat in the back, classic rock in the CD player, and the air conditioner on full blast. The trip was going to take nearly two hours and I was beyond excited. Luke grinned at me from the passenger seat as I started the engine.

"Okay. Driver's license? Check. Seatbelts on?" I waited for a response.

"Yes mom," Chase said in a monotone voice.

"That's the second time you've called me mom. It's weird."

Gill sighed exasperatedly. "Can we just go already?"

I put the car in gear and pulled out of the hospital parking lot. My hands were latched on the steering wheel and my eyes were locked on the road. We drove the first bit in relative silence, until I turned up the stereo and tried to start a road trip sing-along. No one else knew the words to any of the songs, though, and I doubted they would have sung along anyway. I switched the stereo off and we lapsed into silence again.

Luke sighed and threw his arm behind him. "I wanna try a Pupsi."

"It's Pepsi." Chase leaned forward and handed a can to Luke. "I think you already had one at that fast food place yesterday, but knock yourself out."

Luke eyed the can. "How do you open this?"

"Have Gill do it for you."

Luke swung his arm over the seat and dropped the can in Gill's lap. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but it was hard not to turn around and watch what they were doing. Gill popped open the can, and I heard the sound of a mini soda explosion from the backseat. Chase immediately started laughing.

"You find this amusing?" Gill glared at him as sticky liquid dripped from his clothes.

Luke turned around and busted up with laughter.

"Guys!" I exclaimed. "This is a rental! Behave yourselves or I'll make you clean it off the seats."

No one spoke again. Gill handed the freshly opened Pepsi back to Luke, and Chase eventually stopped laughing. The car continued to roll along as sunlight beamed its hot rays through the windows, and the uneven road jostled the vehicle with every bump and pit in its path.

I took in the landscape surrounding us. Dilapidated houses punctuated the grassy blanket of yellows and greens at vast intervals. The residencies were getting few and far between. Yards were beginning to stretch for greater lengths, filled with old cars and trucks left to rust, unkempt lawns, and rope and tire swings. I smiled. Home was getting closer. The towering skyscrapers and crowded apartment complexes were behind us, along with it the congested city streets and floods of people.

I risked a glance off the road to look at Luke. He seemed to be enjoying the soda. His eyes were sparkling golden and alight with curiosity. Whatever was wrong last night seemed to have left his mind completely. He had been pointing to things along the road, asking me about them and listening when I rattled off some story from my childhood. Now he was snacking on Doritos and watching the scenery fly past.

"So," Chase began. "Let's get something straight. I'm here because I'm an extremely generous person. Luke's here because he got stuck on the boat by pure accident. And now the question is… why are you here, Gill?"

"I could be asking you the same thing," Gill responded, "since we all know your reason is a lie."

"What? I am generous." Chase tugged on the seatbelt that was strapped across his shoulder to loosen it. "I'm also impatient. Yet the question remains unanswered."

Gill frowned. "Angela offered her home to me as a place to stay."

"You know you're a terrible liar," Chase said, stating rather than questioning. He narrowed his eyes. "That's why you've mastered the avoidance tactic, eh?"

I let my eyes travel to the rearview mirror. Gill was silent. He set his jaw tensely, but his eyes were open and bright, like fragile, fluid orbs; one touch away from rupturing and spilling a glittering stream of sapphire.

Chase turned back to the window. "Something official and very much none of my business, I would assume."

Gill smiled slightly. "Yes, official business as usual. Father insisted that he go, but I couldn't allow that. A diplomatic trip to the city… there couldn't be a more perfect opportunity to prove my responsibility. The island is offering a deal to the city's director of agriculture. We want to export goods for their annual farmer's market. It would be a huge economic boost for Castanet."

"Do you think we'd get more tourists?" Luke asked as he popped a chip into his mouth and crunched loudly.

"It's a possibility." Gill leaned back against the seat and seemed to lose interest in the conversation.

I squinted at the road. The sun was getting brighter. Almost too bright. The silence felt strange so I tried to fill it with random conversation. "I can't believe what happened last night. Aren't you guys tired? I'm practically dying here."

Luke smiled. "Sort of, but this is fun."

Gill just shrugged.

Chase never answered me, so I glanced at him in the mirror. He was resting his head against the window and staring out with a blank expression. His lips were slightly parted, like he was about to say something, but his eyes were far away and his hand was nestled in his tangled web of hair. I felt like I was looking at a still photo, but then he closed his eyes for a moment. He pressed the button to roll the window down. He didn't open his eyes again until the window was all the way down and the wind blasted against his face and surged through the strands of his hair. For the first time since I had known him, Chase actually seemed like he was enjoying himself doing something other than cooking.

"Angela!" Luke lurched forward, his eyes wide and frantic. He was motioning to the road, which I should have been watching. I gasped when I realized what he was pointing at. A pair of oncoming headlights. Two immense, glaring halos and their beams of light tore through the expanse between us and blinded my sight.

A blaring horn jolted me into reality, and I finally remembered to react. I jerked the wheel sharply to the right, almost swerving off the road, and narrowly missed a painful collision. Heaving a sigh of relief, I righted the car just as the pair of headlights zoomed past.

I glanced at Luke, his wild eyes, and his grin torn between thrill and terror. Then I looked in the mirror at Gill. He was gripping the edge of his seat with one hand and holding onto the door handle with his other.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. It won't happen again." I curled my fingers tightly around the wheel and made the determination to keep my eyes on the road.

"No, it won't," Gill mumbled. Then his voice was suddenly closer, and I assumed he must've leaned forward. I could feel the seat give as his shoulder pressed into the side of it. His breath was on the back of my arm. "He's not that interesting, you know," he whispered, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

My face burned hot. I wasn't looking at him like that. I just happened to be looking at him the same time I got lost in thought. My attempt at redemption was feeble. "But I wasn't…"

Chase suddenly leaned in, and I felt his fingertips on my shoulder. My body felt like a tightly wound coil, tense and ready to burst. I thought I was going to throw up.

"You," he said with a smile in his voice, "are a terrible liar."

Luke cast a sideways glance at me, and I felt like yanking the wheel and driving off the road into a ditch. Instead, I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and clenched my jaw. Luke laughed. It was a light sound that brightened his eyes and made his smile look effortless.

"Don't worry, Ange," he said. "I believe you."

"Gee Gill, thanks a lot!" My voice was louder than I intended. "Let's just provide embarrassing commentary on my every move. Chase never answered me, so I looked at him. Is that a crime? Oh my gosh, someone call the cops! I looked at someone riding in the backseat of a car I happened to be driving. Maybe he fell through the window or something! You never know! I was making sure."

My outburst was met with silence. After a moment, Chase gave a light chuckle. "It's not a big deal, okay? Maya stares at me all the time. I didn't notice until the car was on the wrong side of the road, but otherwise, you're quite subtle."

I sighed and watched as the trees flew past. "We've only been driving for, like, thirty minutes. Can you please stop harassing me now? I'll be forced to kick you out and make you walk if you don't."

Luke was messing around with the seat controls and happened to press the button that made his seat shift backward all the way. Gill, unfortunately, was sitting directly behind him.

"Luke!" He groaned as his face contorted with pain. "What the heck did you do?"

Luke tried to pull his seat back into the regular position but it wouldn't budge. He was laughing. "This car rocks!"

"I think the passenger seat is too much for you handle, Luke." Chase leaned back and smirked.

The road curved around a vast cluster of trees, and I craned my neck to see if there were any cars coming around the corner. One of the streets branched off the main road just past the curve. I glanced down it and narrowed my eyes. It was a slight detour, but I had to see. I turned down the side-street and drove a short ways until we reached a long, dirt driveway. The car slowed, but I didn't stop.

There it was. The place I wished I could erase from my past forever.

The house was tall, beautiful, framed by a forest of trees, but only half there. The other half was burned and charred black, hollowed out like it had been torched. It looked fragile, as if one gust of wind would be enough to make it crumble.

It used to be my favorite place to play as a little girl. A creek snaked behind the house and through the maze of foliage. There was no fence; the trees were so dense around the perimeter, there was no need. The best part: it was always empty. No one lived there. I would play in the yard and on the swing and in the creek, all without getting in trouble. It was a wonderful, secret place. Until it became the architecture of my guilt and regret.

I felt like a stone just dropped into my stomach. Pressing on the accelerator, I shook my head and steered the car back toward the main road. I saw what I had wanted to see.

"Stop!"

The word sliced through me, jolting every nerve and fiber of my body. Chase had said it. His voice bordered between commanding and desperate. I didn't even think; I just hit the brakes and turned around as fast as possible to see what was wrong. But he was already throwing open his door and getting out.

"Chase," I called. He didn't turn around. He was walking toward the old house.

Luke tried to lean forward but was held in place by the locked seatbelt. He looked from me to Gill. "What's he doing?"

Gill released his seatbelt and watched as Chase walked across the road. He was still wedged between Luke's seat and his own. "I don't know."

"I'll wait five minutes," I said. "If he doesn't come back in five minutes, I'll go figure out what's wrong."

He didn't come back in five minutes. I waited an extra two minutes and he still didn't come back. Pushing my door open, I stepped onto the asphalt. It would have been smart to pull over, but there weren't any other cars on this road anyway, so I just left it.

I walked down the long, winding stone path into the veil of leaves, until I was standing right in front of the house. The door was ajar. It was so broken that I didn't think it was even capable of closing. As I pushed the door open and stepped inside, I felt like I was walking into ruins.

There were heaps of blackened wood and debris scattered around the floor. I glanced up. The ceiling was burned. Gone. I could see furniture on the second floor above my head. The house seemed even more brittle and unstable. I just knew it was going to collapse over me at any minute, and my stomach tightened into knots.

I stepped over a piece of metal and ducked my head to see past the doorway and into another room. There was Chase, standing in the middle of the mess, with his back to me.

He glanced over his shoulder. There was no expression on his face, only glowing sparks in his eyes. Against the deep purple of his irises, it reminded me of the first nighttime snowfall in winter; little ice crystals spiraling and twirling under the lamplights, melting upon complete descent. Beautiful. Fragile.

He could see me. I just knew it. He could see the guilt eating away at my flesh and tearing into my bones, the regret pressing into my stomach like a fist, and the fear in my eyes. There was nothing I could do to hide it - the truth plastered across my face - so I turned away. But he didn't react. His eyes were skirting over the debris.

There was more silence, complete and engulfing. He continued to look at every heap and pile of charred wood.

"What do you see?" I asked finally.

Chase shook his head slightly. "What?"

"Sometimes you look at things, but I can tell you aren't actually looking at them. It's like you see something else there. What do you see here?"

He blinked at me. Whatever trust he had in me last night was gone. He wasn't going to actually tell me. But then a smile flashed across his face, flitting like a shadow, and he said, "The way things used to be." Chase pointed to a mangled, burned piece of something. "The couch." Then he pointed to the hole in the ceiling. "My bedroom."

"You lived here?" I breathed. Jason was right. All those years ago, he was right. And Chase was the kid with freckles. "But that's impossible. This house has been empty since I was born."

"Illegal, but not impossible." Chase raised his eyebrow at me. "You used to have glasses, didn't you?"

I couldn't breathe, but I tried to smother my surprise by asking the first question that popped into my mind. "You recognize me?"

"Yeah. I recognized you the first day I met you."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"Say what? 'Hey I'm Chase, that homeless orphan kid from the past. Remember me?' Not exactly something I wanted to bring up. Besides, I wasn't completely sure it was you." He sighed. "Angela, don't look at me like that. It wasn't bad."

I turned away.

"Do you remember me?"

A short breath left my lips. "Sort of. You look different, though."

"Yeah, well…" Chase shrugged.

"You have freckles," I said. "And you like Pepsi."

"This conversation is getting weird."

"No, I mean, that's how I knew. One time I was walking with my friend and her brother, and he-"

"He pushed me, I dropped all my stuff – my Pepsi – yeah, I know. And you just stood there, not unlike the way you do most of the time, with a clueless expression on your face."

"You remember?" I wanted to ask what was going through his mind when he had smiled at me all those years ago, but it seemed like such a strange thing to bring up now. The freckled boy in the past seemed like a completely different person than the apathetic chef who stood in front of me.

"Yeah. I was waiting for the bus and trying to ignore that green-eyed moron. Honestly, his eyes were the color of mucus."

"That's who it was," I said slowly. "Green eyes. The guy who stabbed you had green eyes. He said the weirdest thing to me - 'Just like old times.' But I get it now. He knew it was you. That jerk, he-" I couldn't go on. I couldn't tell Chase what else he told me. Now you'll know the pain I suffered because of you. If I told him that, he would ask what I did. And I couldn't tell him about the house fire, and how I ended up telling the police what actually happened, and how Jason was sent to juvenile court and charged with aggravated arson. "He always had it out for you, y'know."

"I know." Chase shook his head and absently touched a bruise on his jaw. "I knew it was him yesterday, too."

"Hey, guys!" Luke stood in the doorway and peered inside. "Are you coming or what?"

Chase glanced behind him at the room. He clenched his fist at his side and tensed his shoulders. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, we're coming."

Luke disappeared from the doorway and started down the long path again.

Even after he was gone, Chase didn't turn around. "I want to show you something," he said suddenly.

"Me?"

"No, this pile of garbage." After I didn't respond, he blinked. "Yes, you. Now go outside before I change my mind."

I did as I was told. I stepped outside and watched Luke's back as he strode down the stone path, caged in on all sides by light green leaves and dark green bushes. He had a bounce in his step, like he had so much energy that it rebounded every time his feet touched the ground.

"Come on." Chase led me down the side of the house. We turned and walked to the middle of the yard. The grass was yellow and dead under my feet. He stopped right in front of the back side of the house and looked at it.

I followed his gaze and didn't speak.

He glanced at me. "Remember when you asked me to help you move furniture at your house?"

"And you refused to go near the window?"

Chase pressed his lips together. "Right. Well, it's not the noblest excuse, but there's why." He pointed to a window on the second floor. It was shattered.

"It happened during the fire," he continued. Each word was forced out and sounded like it didn't fit in his mouth. "I was twelve. The window was broken, but it was the only way in."

"In?"

"There was something..." Chase ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat. "There was something I... yeah."

His shoulders dropped slightly. That's when I realized it. He had lost something here. And he wanted it back. I knew there was more to the story; it was just a glimpse of what he had gone through. Maybe someday he would trust me enough to tell me, but right now this was all he could let go of.

"Thank you for telling me."

"Yeah, sure." He coughed slightly. "Thanks for staying with me. At the hospital, I mean. But you pretty much wasted your time, considering I was asleep and honestly wouldn't have known the difference. "

"Well you kept saying how much you hated hospitals, so I just figured you wouldn't mind the company." I clasped my hands together behind my back. "Besides, that's what friends are for."

He stiffened. "What?"

"Friends. We're friends, right?"

"I don't know whose stupid idea it was to start putting labels on these things."

I shook my head. "You mean relationships?"

"Yeah, I mean, seriously, they aren't even real things. They're just in people's minds."

"So is intelligence. Are you saying intelligence isn't real?"

"You can measure intelligence. You can't measure friendship."

"Wow, Chase," I drawled with a smile. "If you take that last sentence out of context, it would look really nice on a Hallmark card."

"Yeah, I'm a genius." He started walking toward the path and I followed.

Now I knew what I had longed to know since the day I saw his scar. But this… This was too much. I didn't want to know that I was basically an accomplice to burning down his house.

I couldn't change what I did, and I wasn't sure if I could ever tell Chase the truth. But there was one thing I could do to make it right.

Whatever he had lost, I would get it back. I had to get it back; otherwise the black hole of guilt would swallow me alive.
Ahh!! Thanks so much for the comments and favs! Let me know what you think~

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kiddopolis's avatar
C-Chase... ;A;